Grief
by Melskim
Summary: Ares s point of view after Xena s "dead" in season 5.


Grief by Melskim

Disclaimer : I do not owe anything, this is just for fun.

"I handle you all wrong... I know that now... she knew what you needed unconditional and unselfish love and I couldn't give that to you... But I appreciated you in  
ways she never could-- your rage-- your violence-- your beauty.  
When you sacrificed yourself for others, you were hers-- but when  
you kicked ass-- you were mine. I love you, Xena." and I kissed her for the last time, I felt my heart cracked, funny the god of war have a heart, or had, she took it with her that day.

I step out the cave, were she would find peace after all these years, out, between the wind and the snow I shed tears, for the first time in my existence I cried, I cried for her, with my powers I closed the cave, no one will disturb her never again, she was safe. I headed to do her bidding, her last wish, a wish she had shared with me many years ago, a lifetime ago...

When I arrived in the tavern, her mother was hectic, like her, she was a strong woman, between other things... only Cyrene could see me, for the rest of the mortal world I was invisible, she looked at me in the eye. I think, she knew something was wrong, she began to ask the costumers out, in no time the tavern was empty, she saw my eyes and knew.

Solemnly she greeted me "Ares" I became visible, there was no point, only she was there, but nevertheless I became visible to the world, it only added more realisms, she approach me and place a shaken hand in my shoulder, and I fell on my knees "She is gone" I managed to say between sobs, she embrace me in a hug, a mother´s hug and I cried... she cried with me. After some time, we sat in a nearby table and the questions began...

"How?... is Eve..." she trailed off, I was more composed by then, the pain was ripping my heart though. As I was looking at her, I saw her eyes, the same cristal blue ones that had conquer war.

"The others were after her..." I have never felt such pain, the words didn't want to leave my lips " she fell of a cliff the bard and Eve with her... Evie..." How I called her, my Evie, I held her at night all those months back, every night, she was my death, yet she was part of her and I loved her, her body burnt in the cart, I couldn't retrieved her body, I just placed a purple flower freeze in ice for her, on the top Xena´s sword and chakram as protecting her "...Evie died in the fall as well as Gabrielle, Xena..." how could I tell her, I didn't know, she had been listening without uttering a word, when my voice faded away... again, she took my hand in hers, giving me strength to continue, I looked at her and closed my eyes, it was too painful "...Xena took her sword, I stopped her... but she had poison, she couldn't bear it" she squeezed my hand again " I love her, and I couldn't...." she cut me, and I thanked her "I know... and I know she loved you" she finished in a whisper, I heard of course. I squeeze her hand "I buried them" I added and stood full my height looking to the elder woman "She wanted you to have this" over the table I made appeared a wooden box with the runes on war graven on it, she opened it I heard her gasped "It was a gift, I gave it to her the day she turned 18 and became my chosen". Inside the box laid a beautiful necklace richly made, the chain was made in silver with a large blue diamond, a rose engraved in one side and five word in the other ´i will always love you´ it read "She looked beautiful with it, that day she was in a dark blue dress, my princess... my warrior princess. She was so happy that day... later, she told me to give it to you if..." the woman was taken a back with emotion as myself. I also gave her something I had hold dear a long time now, her first offering to me, a dagger, Cyrene looked up to me, "Lycius" she whispered "Yes, she gave it to me" She held it to her lips at kissed it, looked up again and said "you should have it, if she gave it.." "no, keep it, it was Lycius, besides I have lots of things of her" I don't know why I told her the next line, I believe that I wanted her to know that some time back we were happy together "And also I have this" I showed her my ring "she gave it to me after I asked her marriage, I have hers as well, I took it from her saddled bags earlier today. Argo is with Joxer, he will take good care of her" She looked at me, I clarify with a faint smile, the first it hours "Yes, we were married, we got married a year before she deflected"

Her jaw dropped, she didn't know a lot of things about her daughter, "she never tell..." I smirked "not even blondie knew Cyrene" a shift my weight from one feet to another and said solemnly, "my temple is at your disposal Cyrene, take care" I kissed her forehead and disappeared. I felt empty I sank in my throne in the halls of war, I was empty without her and my grief began that day, that awful day, the day war lost his heart.

It´s been 20 years now, and I still feel her dead lips in mine, I still love her. I have my ring in my finger , I never took it off, not since the day she placed it there 26 years ago and hers hanging freely with my pendant around my neck, next to the shell, that now my heart is.


End file.
